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Just for Laughs

This is from a great online comic called XKCD.

Baby Talk: Breast Feeding

Excuse my rant:

It's annoying. The amount of people that want to know whether or not I will breast feed my baby. While my main concern is whether or not it will be painful, I really don't think you should be giving me advice that you received from your grandmother, especially if I just met you in the waiting room.

This doesn't mean I haven't weighed the pros and cons.

In the article,"Ten Reasons Why Breastfeeding Rocks for Mamas" they justify breast feeding by saying that it's cheaper, releases feel good hormones, and reduces risk of breast cancer. All helpful. But I won't be breast feeding for long.

Being a poor college graduate, I need money and that means I need to work. Sure, I'll breast feed for the first four weeks. I'll even try pumping for a while, but truth be told, I'm likely to switch to formula. Bonding time with a baby doesn't have to involve breast feeding. If it did, my boyfriend would be out of luck since I'm sure he can't lactate.

Bonding can happen during play, by talking to the baby while working at home, and even during baths.

Now, about money. Many people might dislike this, but I'm planning on being a working mom. Not only that, but I plan on getting back as soon as I can, be that two weeks or six weeks. I plan on exercise and dieting. I plan on furthering my career.

This all depends on how I feel physically, of course, and I've heard that leaving your brand new baby can be hard but I've got to overcome those hormones so my baby can have diapers. Besides, people who know me, also know how much I hate staying home. I like getting out of the house and seeing people. This means work is perfect. I get out of the house (away from a screaming poopy baby) and still make money.

My mom knows I'm not a home-maker/family-time/bake a dozen cookies type of girl. And I just hope that when I explain this to people next time in the waiting room, they won't make faces at me and tell me, "Well, my mom didn't work..."

The Truth about Pregnancy (Week 16)

Being pregnant sucks. There's nothing magical about it. I haven't felt the slightest twinge of motherly affection, nesting, or wish to hold babies. At times it's mostly indifference. At other times it's annoyance. Seriously, don't get pregnant.

It was nice to hear the heartbeat and to get the sonogram but afterwards I just feel like some 7th grade biology experiment (Not that students got pregnant for biology class in middle school, they got pregnant because they didn't use protection).

The first trimester was full of tears and questions about whether I should abort or keep it. Then it was tears for the loss of my dreams. Finally, I was simply crying because I was crying. There was the nausea. Bleeding. Vomiting. Fatigue. And the apartment search. I would google two bedroom apartments while eating anything I could get my hands on to relieve the nausea. I gained 10 pounds.

The second trimester is here and I have discovered that I was lied to. The doctors, books, blogs, and other women had said that nausea goes away during the second trimester. Bullshit. It's not as bad, but it's constant. So I'm still eating everything and in addition to small headaches, fatigue, and peeing every hour, I have round ligament pain.

But I could live with all this. The pain. The loss of a career. The nausea. I could live with it all, if I could still fit into my clothes.

I have gained a total of 15 pounds.

Eight pounds over the expected amount. My thighs are huge. Not only are shorts not fitting me because of my belly but they don't fit me BECAUSE I HAVE GOTTEN FAT.

And the belly? It looks like a beer belly. Like fat. Like, "Ew, she needs to do some crunches." I doubt I'll be one of those women with the cute and awesome belly.

Yup. Instead of cute and pregnant, I'll be fat and pregnant. Thank you genes. Thank you overeating. Thank you not being able to go for runs without discomfort.

Thank you lack of condoms four months ago.

This Guy Makes Me Happy!

Found on Legally Fabulous, this video made my morning so much better.

Pregnancy: ER Visits

I never minded going to the doctor. I disliked when they drew blood or stuck and IV in me but never squirmed or had to look away. Things have changed.

When I went to the emergency room with gallbladder pain, it was just me I had to worry about. It was me who felt pain, there was something wrong with me, me, me, me.

I've gone to the emergency room twice since finding out that I'm pregnant and it has been the opposite. The first time, I was bleeding slightly, a few drops at a time. Although the blood was bright red and I was worried, I had learned that as long as there's no pain, there's no problem. This I learned from one friend, the internet, and a book I was currently reading.

My boyfriend, Daniel, told me to call one of his friends and she said that any blood was a bad sign. I decided to wait for a bit. I visited Daniel at work, ate some Chipotle, and went to the bathroom to check on the pad that I was using. This time is was more blood and it scared me. I decided to head to the ER.

Daniel's friend took me and stayed with me. We waited, I believe, about 2 hours, and I ended up leaving five hours later. What was wrong?

Nothing.

They put me on pelvic rest for a few days and told me I was fine. All that waiting...

The next ER visit was really scary for me.

There's an Asian Festival every summer at a park downtown and I had been waiting to go since last year. I was so excited I woke up at five and just laid in bed until it was the appropriate time to wake Daniel up so we could go. Did I mention that I had been looking foreward to going for a year?

So, after eating breakfast (scrambled eggs with ham, side of beans, tortillas, and pineapple), Daniel, his friend, his friend's wife, their baby girl, and I climbed into their car (I don't remember what it was, maybe Escalade?). Daniel drove as I gave directions and we circled the festival area until we found a parking spot. It was a ten to fifteen minute walk to the park and then a five minute walk to the stage area. It was awesome!

We saw about five minutes of the performances when we decided to get the little one a cute "asian" umbrella. We stood up, I pointed in the general direction, and Daniel took the lead. I don't remember why I ended up being the tail end of the group but we hadn't taken three steps when I felt something warm trickle down my leg.

"Shit, I just peed myself," I thought as I took another step, "Maybe if I keep walking it'll dry off and I can clean myself up in a porto-potty." I looked down as I took two more steps. My pee has never been thick and bright red.

I called to Daniel who didn't hear but his friend's wife did. She turns around, looks at what I'm looking at, and shouts for the guys. In my head, I start freaking out. On the outside, I probably look like the other hot and sweaty people holding cameras with the exception of fear on my face.

Daniel rushes over and they make me sit down on the cement that's been heated by the sun for hours. I try to shift so that the step I'm sitting on is at the edge of my bum as I feel a kind of like a bubble filled with warm, thick water just came out of me.

Meanwhile it was decided that Daniel's friend would go get the car and drive on the main street along the side of the park and we would wave him down when he got near us. Since my boyfriend was only wearing one of those thin undershirts (it was like 90 degrees) his friend handed me his shirt and left wearing his undershirt. We used this to cover up my legs. I got up, felt another bubble, and looked at Daniel as he said he was going to carry me.

Now, this would have been fine if he was in the same shape when we met and don't get me wrong, he's still hot in my book, but he's definitely lost a bit of abs and arms since he stopped working out because of his job.

But he didn't want me to walk so he carried me, stopped to rest, carried me again, stopped, and finally we made it to the side of the road. Up until this point I was only bleeding, an alarming amount compared to before, but there was no pain and I was okay, although embarrassed by the looks I got from people.

We stood at the edge waiting for the friend when I felt dizzy, then more dizzy, then nauseous, then I tried to sit on the ground and I think Daniel saw this and helped me sit because I would have just laid my head on the ground since I had no strength. The rest is kind of a blur but here is what I remember with what people told me:

They flagged down the friend. Daniel and some sweet Asian guy helped me in and onto the front passanger seat. I was buckled in and just as they were closing the door I stuck my hand out and threw up a little aiming for away from the car (it landed on that step that tall vehicles have). Someone shoved an undershirt into my hands and closed the door. I threw up into the shirt and then the car started moving. Someone gave me a plastic bag that I used to place the now dirty shirt in and found out that Daniel was driving without a shirt on. I felt better after throwing up but when the vehicle started moving the dizziness came back. I was offered water. I refused. I threw up the remainder of my breakfast, choking on some of it before coughing it out. I somehow gave directions to the nearest hospital. Passed out. Came to. Didn't know where I was. Passed out. Came to when we arrived at the ER.

Daniel carried me in. I was put in a wheelchair and taken into a room and left there. A guy came in and asked me questions. Daniel came in and held my head. I tried to answer the guy's questions but I guess when they asked me in how much pain I was in, and even though I responded three times, nobody heard me.

I actually wasn't in any pain, just felt dirty, hot, and scared with blurred vision and occasional blanking out. They took me to another room where they made me lay down on a bed. Someone tried to clean my legs. More questions. Daniel came in with a black leather jacket (I later learned that it was the only thing his friend had in the car) and I was more awake now.

During my stay, I had blood drawn, more blood drawn, and then an IV, and then more blood drawn. (Apparently I was dehydrated or something.) I was made to take off my underwear and saw all kinds of things, not just blood, so I started freaking out even more. Pelvic exam. Ultrasound. All this, of course, was stretched out in six hours.

I learned that the baby was fine, untouched, and possibly just wondering what the heck it's mother was doing. They mentioned that it was a blood clot and that it could happen again. By this time I had stopped bleeding though and they said that there really wasn't a lot of blood. (What?!) If I soak a pad in about an hour and/or have pain then I definitely have to worry.

Since then, no blood, no pain, and same appetite as before. And those have been my ER visits since I found out I was pregnant.

Pancakes!

Jim's Pancakes is basically a sweet dad making creative and amazing pancakes for his daughter. My favorite is the cheeseburger pancakes but that might be only because the pregnancy has been making me crave burgers like crazy, which isn't normal for me.