My Sad Self

No, I am not sad. No, I will not commit suicide, although after reading this poem, anyone could. My Sad Self, written by Allen Ginsberg, is a poem about loneliness it a city full of people.

The character in the poem seems to take the elevator to the top of a building to look down upon everyone and is apparently depressed. The poem showed a small glimmer of hope. Instead of committing suicide, the character goes back down the elevator in the middle of the poem. Although depressed and alone, he gets out and is able to go back into the city. When walking around the streets the character realizes that he is people watching but that nobody watches him. Nobody cares. He remembers past lovers he has lost while describing the noisy streets.

After reading the Sunflower Sutra this poem is kind of a let down. When read aloud it felt choppy and hard, or maybe I was just reading it wrong. I don't really suggest anyone should read this poem if they don't have to. Instead, check out the Sunflower Sutra.

Sunflower Sutra

The Sunflower Sutra, a poem created by Allen Ginsberg, talks of the writer finding a sunflower that is covered in a pollution caused by mankind. Although there is a sexual (possibly gay) as well as nature versus industrialism, I will focus mainly on what I first observed.

The sunflower represents hope. It represents a soul covered up by grime and pollution. Although dirty and gray, the sunflower stands up against the mechanical junk lying around it and tries to shine. The writer tells the flower not to forget what it really is, that, although surrounded by filth and even at times covered by it, it is a sunflower.

Another example of this is when you looks into the mirror. What do you see? Do you see the extra weight you're carrying? The fine lines of age starting to appear around your eyes and the thinning of your hair as it lies flat and lifeless, no longer vibrant.

But what about inside?

You are still a sunflower. Bright and full of joy. Surrounded by impurities of others, destruction of others, and grime of others. Even your thoughts have tried to cover the sunflower like ashes. Slowly dulling it's color. But it's still there. You are still you. You are still a sunflower.

Page 123

Okay, so here's how the game works:

1. Pick up the nearest book of at least 123 pages.

2. Open the book to page 123.

3. Find the 5th sentence.

4. Post the next 3 sentences.

5. Tag people.

So here goes:

The book is Through Waters Roar: A Novel by Lynn Austin. The 5th sentence reads, "And after he'd refilled his glass a third time, and drank it down, there weren't any."

Next 3 sentences:

"In fact, Horatio slept like a dead man. Bebe had to shake him awake in the morning so they wouldn't miss their train to Niagara Falls. They spent their honeymoon in a lavish hotel near the falls, and for the first time Bebe saw the thundering cascade, she clung to Horatio's arm unable to speak."

This is the book I'm reading to give you guys a review but I'm currently on page 50 and in between this, the other books for contemporary literature, and schoolwork, it'll be a while before you get the review. Sorry, but that's the way it is.

Tags:

Cassandra Cappello

A Good Man Is Hard To FInd

Recently we were assigned a few readings for my contemporary literature class. The book is by Flannery O'Conner, titled, A Good Man is Hard to Find and Other Stories.

In the short story, A Good Man is Hard to Find, O'Conner writes about a family trip that ends up going terribly wrong and that there is mainly one character to blame, the unnamed grandmother. This selfish, manipulative, and perhaps religious woman wishes to change the family plans to go to the original destination, she causes an accident by bringing along a forbidden pet, and eventually gets the entire family killed because she can't seem to stop talking. Hints to the death of the family mount as the grandmother brings along the cat, instigates the children to commit tantrums in order to see a house that she mistakenly believes is there, and is the first to introduce the Misfit character. The grandmother is obsessed with outward appearances and dresses in her best for a long car ride. Although some sources, such as wikipedia, state that the grandmother might have been committing an act of charity and realized her foolish ways in the end, I doubt it. The only reason she touched the killer in the end was because he was wearing her son's shirt and in facing certain death she got confused as to who was her son. The entire conversation between her and the killer was so he would let her live, not for the safety of her family. This story basically warns me to keep my mouth shut unless I have something important to say so that I don't end up getting killed along with innocent people.

In the story, The Life You Save May Be Your Own, a wandering man named Mr. Shiftlet, receives a chance at a permanent home but rejects it and ends the same way he started although with material possessions. These possessions have brought very little happiness to him. The characters in this story need to be pushed further. Unlike the story, A Good Man is Hard to Find, these characters seem uncomfortable and half realized. Shiftlet, the wandering man states that he doesn't care for money but shows that in the end, he chose money over the daughter, which could represent that he rejects innocence. The story started out slowly and was harder to care for because of the apparent lack of progress.

Although Shiflet has skills at repairing things around the farm, he is physically broken. He is a one-armed man who, early in the plot, stretches out both arms toward the sun, looking like a “crooked cross”. When Shiflet speaks, it is of odd things, like a surgeon who took out a heart and examined it like “a day-old chicken”. She eventually states that the heart is beyond science and, when asked to sleep in the broken down car, references European monks who sleep in coffins. Although it's legal, the marriage to the woman's daughter doesn't satisfy him and states that it's the law that doesn't satisify him. Immediately afterwards, Shiftlet abandons his new wife and picks up a hitchhiker to make up for this guilt. The hitchhiker apparently sees how much of a liar Shiftlet is and jumps out of the car, leaving Shiftlet praying to God to wipe the scum off the earth.

The Life You Save May Be Your Own, is pretty much about two people using each other. Shiftlet wants the car and the old woman wants to get rid of her daughter while the girl, mute and unable to communicate, is left far from home.

Not a bad read. Because of my horrible sense of humor, I did somewhat enjoy the first story, mainly because the idiot grandmother finally got shot.

Ernest Hemingway, Why Do You Hurt Me So? (Part 2)

The book wasn't horrible. Cutting off my pinky would definitely have been worse. It was a struggle to read the book each day for class and not because I can't read, because I certainly can. No, the book was just bad.

The characters are completely crazy. I was finally able to see what happens when Brett can't immediately get what she wants, which is Romero, a young bullfighter. She actually needed an introduction to meet this new man. She's in awe at Romero's strength and jealous of Jake for being able to talk with such ease.

Jake is instigating the whole situation by pushing the two together. I believe, and sparknotes agrees, that Romero is a sexual replacement for Jake, who, because of the war, can't have a physical relationship. After Jake introduces Brett to this young man, the scenery changes and the whole setting is wet, muddy, and dirty.

Cohn, having had sex with Brett, follows her like a puppy dog but is instead shooed away and verbally harassed by Mike, Brett's fiance. Although Mike doesn't care if Brett runs around with men, Cohn is the only idiot to still follow her around.

When Cohn realizes that Jake has actually helped Romero and Brett get together, he accuses Jake of being a pimp. Jake then, probably from the stress of having given Brett away, swings at Cohn. He misses. Cohn knocks Jake out and then strikes Mike. Jake has officially become as silly as Cohn by giving in to his sentimentalism. Cohn vanishes after fighting, and failing to bring down Romero.

Romero continues with the scheduled bullfighting even though he is injured from the fight. He excels. Jake has ruined the insider reputation he had in Pompolona and destroyed his friendship with Montoya, a bullfighting aficionado and native. Jake leaves. In France, Jake overtips in order to buy friendships and places where he is welcome.

Afterwards, Jake meets with Brett who tells him, to make herself feel better, that she has sent Romero away. Brett is getting old and probably doesn't want to look foolish by following some youngster around. She then, like the crazy lady she is, tells Jake that if they could have sex, it would have been good between them but Jake knows this is all a game.

The book ends. The climax wasn't great (my summary was probably better) and all the good stuff happened at once that Hemingway could have condensed the rest of the book easily. I was not impressed and still wonder why Hemingway is so popular. Good thing I purchased the old, yellowed, and cheap version of the book for class.

Before I turn 25

I found this book (The Expert's Guide to 100 Things Everyone Should Know How to Do, created by Samantha Ettus) at the library the other day, actually renewed it once before I finally got to it, but it has proven really interesting.

It's a book with short articles on how to do essential things such as caring for your skin and making a bed. These how to sections are written by experts in the field such as Bobbi Brown and Donald Trump.

Other than the "I want to lose weight this year" type of New Years resolutions, I don't usually make plans like that but this book has made me compile a list of things I would like to learn by age 25.

1. Be able to complete an 8 minute mile.

2. Drive a stick shift.

3. Learn to negotiate.

4. Learn to tell a story.

5. Arrange Flowers

6. Be competent in French.

7. Go on a trip to anywhere. Overseas, to the next state, road trip or on a plane, just do it!

Ernest Hemingway, Why Do You Hurt Me So?

The Sun Also Rises, by Ernest Hemingway, is a required reading for my Contemporary Literature class. Why this book is so extraordinary is beyond my comprehension.

Now keep in mind: My major is product design, not english, or literature, and I have never read anything written by Ernest Hemingway.

The book, as far as I've read, is about a group of young to middle aged people partying their lives away. It's about the characters masking the way they feel about the war that just ended, their insecurities, and the way that booze and dance really just makes them feel worse. And yet they continue on the same path.

The main character, Jake Barnes, is introduced through his introduction of Robert Cohn. Everything that Barnes feels about Cohn reveals his own personality. This is an interesting way of introducing a character but this is where my interest in the book ends. Barnes is still hung up on a girl, Brett Ashley. Her character seems to use all the men in the book in order to make herself feel important and, I believe, if nobody paid attention to her, she would undoubtably feel lost and without a purpose. I believe what Hemingway is describing is the "Lost Generation". A group of youths leftover from the war.

The book and all the dialogue seems too passive. It seems like there is no climactic point in the horizon and that everyone will go on pretending to be happy until the end of time. Another thing that really bothers me is the way Hemingway feels he must describe each and every turn that the characters make when traveling in Paris. Paragraphs upon paragraphs are spent in naming streets. Why? I've never lived in Paris and these names conjure up no images to go along with the plot.

I will keep you up to date as I continue reading and hopefully will change my mind about the book.