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Just for Laughs

This is from a great online comic called XKCD.

Baby Talk: Breast Feeding

Excuse my rant:

It's annoying. The amount of people that want to know whether or not I will breast feed my baby. While my main concern is whether or not it will be painful, I really don't think you should be giving me advice that you received from your grandmother, especially if I just met you in the waiting room.

This doesn't mean I haven't weighed the pros and cons.

In the article,"Ten Reasons Why Breastfeeding Rocks for Mamas" they justify breast feeding by saying that it's cheaper, releases feel good hormones, and reduces risk of breast cancer. All helpful. But I won't be breast feeding for long.

Being a poor college graduate, I need money and that means I need to work. Sure, I'll breast feed for the first four weeks. I'll even try pumping for a while, but truth be told, I'm likely to switch to formula. Bonding time with a baby doesn't have to involve breast feeding. If it did, my boyfriend would be out of luck since I'm sure he can't lactate.

Bonding can happen during play, by talking to the baby while working at home, and even during baths.

Now, about money. Many people might dislike this, but I'm planning on being a working mom. Not only that, but I plan on getting back as soon as I can, be that two weeks or six weeks. I plan on exercise and dieting. I plan on furthering my career.

This all depends on how I feel physically, of course, and I've heard that leaving your brand new baby can be hard but I've got to overcome those hormones so my baby can have diapers. Besides, people who know me, also know how much I hate staying home. I like getting out of the house and seeing people. This means work is perfect. I get out of the house (away from a screaming poopy baby) and still make money.

My mom knows I'm not a home-maker/family-time/bake a dozen cookies type of girl. And I just hope that when I explain this to people next time in the waiting room, they won't make faces at me and tell me, "Well, my mom didn't work..."

The Truth about Pregnancy (Week 16)

Being pregnant sucks. There's nothing magical about it. I haven't felt the slightest twinge of motherly affection, nesting, or wish to hold babies. At times it's mostly indifference. At other times it's annoyance. Seriously, don't get pregnant.

It was nice to hear the heartbeat and to get the sonogram but afterwards I just feel like some 7th grade biology experiment (Not that students got pregnant for biology class in middle school, they got pregnant because they didn't use protection).

The first trimester was full of tears and questions about whether I should abort or keep it. Then it was tears for the loss of my dreams. Finally, I was simply crying because I was crying. There was the nausea. Bleeding. Vomiting. Fatigue. And the apartment search. I would google two bedroom apartments while eating anything I could get my hands on to relieve the nausea. I gained 10 pounds.

The second trimester is here and I have discovered that I was lied to. The doctors, books, blogs, and other women had said that nausea goes away during the second trimester. Bullshit. It's not as bad, but it's constant. So I'm still eating everything and in addition to small headaches, fatigue, and peeing every hour, I have round ligament pain.

But I could live with all this. The pain. The loss of a career. The nausea. I could live with it all, if I could still fit into my clothes.

I have gained a total of 15 pounds.

Eight pounds over the expected amount. My thighs are huge. Not only are shorts not fitting me because of my belly but they don't fit me BECAUSE I HAVE GOTTEN FAT.

And the belly? It looks like a beer belly. Like fat. Like, "Ew, she needs to do some crunches." I doubt I'll be one of those women with the cute and awesome belly.

Yup. Instead of cute and pregnant, I'll be fat and pregnant. Thank you genes. Thank you overeating. Thank you not being able to go for runs without discomfort.

Thank you lack of condoms four months ago.

This Guy Makes Me Happy!

Found on Legally Fabulous, this video made my morning so much better.

Pregnancy: ER Visits

I never minded going to the doctor. I disliked when they drew blood or stuck and IV in me but never squirmed or had to look away. Things have changed.

When I went to the emergency room with gallbladder pain, it was just me I had to worry about. It was me who felt pain, there was something wrong with me, me, me, me.

I've gone to the emergency room twice since finding out that I'm pregnant and it has been the opposite. The first time, I was bleeding slightly, a few drops at a time. Although the blood was bright red and I was worried, I had learned that as long as there's no pain, there's no problem. This I learned from one friend, the internet, and a book I was currently reading.

My boyfriend, Daniel, told me to call one of his friends and she said that any blood was a bad sign. I decided to wait for a bit. I visited Daniel at work, ate some Chipotle, and went to the bathroom to check on the pad that I was using. This time is was more blood and it scared me. I decided to head to the ER.

Daniel's friend took me and stayed with me. We waited, I believe, about 2 hours, and I ended up leaving five hours later. What was wrong?

Nothing.

They put me on pelvic rest for a few days and told me I was fine. All that waiting...

The next ER visit was really scary for me.

There's an Asian Festival every summer at a park downtown and I had been waiting to go since last year. I was so excited I woke up at five and just laid in bed until it was the appropriate time to wake Daniel up so we could go. Did I mention that I had been looking foreward to going for a year?

So, after eating breakfast (scrambled eggs with ham, side of beans, tortillas, and pineapple), Daniel, his friend, his friend's wife, their baby girl, and I climbed into their car (I don't remember what it was, maybe Escalade?). Daniel drove as I gave directions and we circled the festival area until we found a parking spot. It was a ten to fifteen minute walk to the park and then a five minute walk to the stage area. It was awesome!

We saw about five minutes of the performances when we decided to get the little one a cute "asian" umbrella. We stood up, I pointed in the general direction, and Daniel took the lead. I don't remember why I ended up being the tail end of the group but we hadn't taken three steps when I felt something warm trickle down my leg.

"Shit, I just peed myself," I thought as I took another step, "Maybe if I keep walking it'll dry off and I can clean myself up in a porto-potty." I looked down as I took two more steps. My pee has never been thick and bright red.

I called to Daniel who didn't hear but his friend's wife did. She turns around, looks at what I'm looking at, and shouts for the guys. In my head, I start freaking out. On the outside, I probably look like the other hot and sweaty people holding cameras with the exception of fear on my face.

Daniel rushes over and they make me sit down on the cement that's been heated by the sun for hours. I try to shift so that the step I'm sitting on is at the edge of my bum as I feel a kind of like a bubble filled with warm, thick water just came out of me.

Meanwhile it was decided that Daniel's friend would go get the car and drive on the main street along the side of the park and we would wave him down when he got near us. Since my boyfriend was only wearing one of those thin undershirts (it was like 90 degrees) his friend handed me his shirt and left wearing his undershirt. We used this to cover up my legs. I got up, felt another bubble, and looked at Daniel as he said he was going to carry me.

Now, this would have been fine if he was in the same shape when we met and don't get me wrong, he's still hot in my book, but he's definitely lost a bit of abs and arms since he stopped working out because of his job.

But he didn't want me to walk so he carried me, stopped to rest, carried me again, stopped, and finally we made it to the side of the road. Up until this point I was only bleeding, an alarming amount compared to before, but there was no pain and I was okay, although embarrassed by the looks I got from people.

We stood at the edge waiting for the friend when I felt dizzy, then more dizzy, then nauseous, then I tried to sit on the ground and I think Daniel saw this and helped me sit because I would have just laid my head on the ground since I had no strength. The rest is kind of a blur but here is what I remember with what people told me:

They flagged down the friend. Daniel and some sweet Asian guy helped me in and onto the front passanger seat. I was buckled in and just as they were closing the door I stuck my hand out and threw up a little aiming for away from the car (it landed on that step that tall vehicles have). Someone shoved an undershirt into my hands and closed the door. I threw up into the shirt and then the car started moving. Someone gave me a plastic bag that I used to place the now dirty shirt in and found out that Daniel was driving without a shirt on. I felt better after throwing up but when the vehicle started moving the dizziness came back. I was offered water. I refused. I threw up the remainder of my breakfast, choking on some of it before coughing it out. I somehow gave directions to the nearest hospital. Passed out. Came to. Didn't know where I was. Passed out. Came to when we arrived at the ER.

Daniel carried me in. I was put in a wheelchair and taken into a room and left there. A guy came in and asked me questions. Daniel came in and held my head. I tried to answer the guy's questions but I guess when they asked me in how much pain I was in, and even though I responded three times, nobody heard me.

I actually wasn't in any pain, just felt dirty, hot, and scared with blurred vision and occasional blanking out. They took me to another room where they made me lay down on a bed. Someone tried to clean my legs. More questions. Daniel came in with a black leather jacket (I later learned that it was the only thing his friend had in the car) and I was more awake now.

During my stay, I had blood drawn, more blood drawn, and then an IV, and then more blood drawn. (Apparently I was dehydrated or something.) I was made to take off my underwear and saw all kinds of things, not just blood, so I started freaking out even more. Pelvic exam. Ultrasound. All this, of course, was stretched out in six hours.

I learned that the baby was fine, untouched, and possibly just wondering what the heck it's mother was doing. They mentioned that it was a blood clot and that it could happen again. By this time I had stopped bleeding though and they said that there really wasn't a lot of blood. (What?!) If I soak a pad in about an hour and/or have pain then I definitely have to worry.

Since then, no blood, no pain, and same appetite as before. And those have been my ER visits since I found out I was pregnant.

Pancakes!

Jim's Pancakes is basically a sweet dad making creative and amazing pancakes for his daughter. My favorite is the cheeseburger pancakes but that might be only because the pregnancy has been making me crave burgers like crazy, which isn't normal for me.

Creationism in the Classroom

I found this on a site I frequent, called Unreasonable Faith. This science teacher, and maybe the system, is completely failing the students. I also have to agree with the author's choice of best qoute:

“We didn’t like evolve from anything, that doesn’t make any sense, I mean… how can, like, an African-American person evolve from a white person? We’re different skin.”

It's Been How Long?

Okay, so I've been gone for a while. But I have two good reasons. I swear! First, there was the giant workload of thesis and actually graduating. Between spray painting models and visiting parents, I had no time to even read my favorite magazines while using the restroom.

Secondly, there's this parasite growing inside of me. It takes all my nutrition and is making me sick.

I'm pregnant! Five years too early but more on that in a future post.

No Problemo!

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
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A Hiatus and Bike Riding

Oh my god! It's May! I've been so busy with school, thesis, and personal issues that I've been just lost. But I'm back and here's one thing that I learned to do: ride a bike.

Ride a bike, you ask? Doesn't everybody know how to do that? NO. I didn't. Every time I saw someone riding a bike through the city I felt a pang of jealousy and a wish to run up to them and push them over, even children. Thanks to friends and my boyfriend, I acquired a used bike (red!) and learned.

First I bought the bike and my friend Cassandra tried to teach me a few times to no avail. I lost some fear, but balance was always and issue and I would fall over after two seconds on my own. Finally we went to Walmart, bought a child's bike, put training wheels on it, and I finally learned.

After we returned the Walmart bike, I started on mine and, with a lot of help and patience from everyone, finally rode! Here's a few more pictures you can take a look at.

Here's a video of my boyfriend on my bike. I think he had more fun on it than I did!

World Wide Web Wanderings

I've been extremely busy lately but am posting a few interesting links and images. The last one (psychic one) proves my lack of belief in silly psychics.

This one is from Bearsharktopus-Man. Check out Obama looking at green lantern's ring!!!

I would love a room like this. I could hide my giant porn stash! (Joking!)

Oh psychics, you make me laugh! Awesome sign!

B-B-B-Bored! P-P-P-Procrastinating!

I'm a bit bogged down with juggling school work and being a diligent procrastinator. This means you get a list of sites that I've been looking at. Yay! Lists! I love lists.

Fuck Yeah, Puns! is a site that, well, collects funny images that ultimately make your boring day seem only slightly less boring. Great site to get maybe a chuckle.

Here's a bit of tech how-to for people as technologically challenged as I am. I absolutely love this blogger and her make up tips and she makes photography seem like a breeze.

Speaking of her, Misschievous is a place to get great make up tutorials, product reviews, and costume inspirations (when it comes to makeup). Love her youtube channels.

And for a few more laughs, here's If Murdered. Awesome. Funny. Laugh. Have Fun. Enjoy.

Meanwhile, I'll go back to working on homework.

My Sad Self

No, I am not sad. No, I will not commit suicide, although after reading this poem, anyone could. My Sad Self, written by Allen Ginsberg, is a poem about loneliness it a city full of people.

The character in the poem seems to take the elevator to the top of a building to look down upon everyone and is apparently depressed. The poem showed a small glimmer of hope. Instead of committing suicide, the character goes back down the elevator in the middle of the poem. Although depressed and alone, he gets out and is able to go back into the city. When walking around the streets the character realizes that he is people watching but that nobody watches him. Nobody cares. He remembers past lovers he has lost while describing the noisy streets.

After reading the Sunflower Sutra this poem is kind of a let down. When read aloud it felt choppy and hard, or maybe I was just reading it wrong. I don't really suggest anyone should read this poem if they don't have to. Instead, check out the Sunflower Sutra.

Sunflower Sutra

The Sunflower Sutra, a poem created by Allen Ginsberg, talks of the writer finding a sunflower that is covered in a pollution caused by mankind. Although there is a sexual (possibly gay) as well as nature versus industrialism, I will focus mainly on what I first observed.

The sunflower represents hope. It represents a soul covered up by grime and pollution. Although dirty and gray, the sunflower stands up against the mechanical junk lying around it and tries to shine. The writer tells the flower not to forget what it really is, that, although surrounded by filth and even at times covered by it, it is a sunflower.

Another example of this is when you looks into the mirror. What do you see? Do you see the extra weight you're carrying? The fine lines of age starting to appear around your eyes and the thinning of your hair as it lies flat and lifeless, no longer vibrant.

But what about inside?

You are still a sunflower. Bright and full of joy. Surrounded by impurities of others, destruction of others, and grime of others. Even your thoughts have tried to cover the sunflower like ashes. Slowly dulling it's color. But it's still there. You are still you. You are still a sunflower.

Page 123

Okay, so here's how the game works:

1. Pick up the nearest book of at least 123 pages.

2. Open the book to page 123.

3. Find the 5th sentence.

4. Post the next 3 sentences.

5. Tag people.

So here goes:

The book is Through Waters Roar: A Novel by Lynn Austin. The 5th sentence reads, "And after he'd refilled his glass a third time, and drank it down, there weren't any."

Next 3 sentences:

"In fact, Horatio slept like a dead man. Bebe had to shake him awake in the morning so they wouldn't miss their train to Niagara Falls. They spent their honeymoon in a lavish hotel near the falls, and for the first time Bebe saw the thundering cascade, she clung to Horatio's arm unable to speak."

This is the book I'm reading to give you guys a review but I'm currently on page 50 and in between this, the other books for contemporary literature, and schoolwork, it'll be a while before you get the review. Sorry, but that's the way it is.

Tags:

Cassandra Cappello

A Good Man Is Hard To FInd

Recently we were assigned a few readings for my contemporary literature class. The book is by Flannery O'Conner, titled, A Good Man is Hard to Find and Other Stories.

In the short story, A Good Man is Hard to Find, O'Conner writes about a family trip that ends up going terribly wrong and that there is mainly one character to blame, the unnamed grandmother. This selfish, manipulative, and perhaps religious woman wishes to change the family plans to go to the original destination, she causes an accident by bringing along a forbidden pet, and eventually gets the entire family killed because she can't seem to stop talking. Hints to the death of the family mount as the grandmother brings along the cat, instigates the children to commit tantrums in order to see a house that she mistakenly believes is there, and is the first to introduce the Misfit character. The grandmother is obsessed with outward appearances and dresses in her best for a long car ride. Although some sources, such as wikipedia, state that the grandmother might have been committing an act of charity and realized her foolish ways in the end, I doubt it. The only reason she touched the killer in the end was because he was wearing her son's shirt and in facing certain death she got confused as to who was her son. The entire conversation between her and the killer was so he would let her live, not for the safety of her family. This story basically warns me to keep my mouth shut unless I have something important to say so that I don't end up getting killed along with innocent people.

In the story, The Life You Save May Be Your Own, a wandering man named Mr. Shiftlet, receives a chance at a permanent home but rejects it and ends the same way he started although with material possessions. These possessions have brought very little happiness to him. The characters in this story need to be pushed further. Unlike the story, A Good Man is Hard to Find, these characters seem uncomfortable and half realized. Shiftlet, the wandering man states that he doesn't care for money but shows that in the end, he chose money over the daughter, which could represent that he rejects innocence. The story started out slowly and was harder to care for because of the apparent lack of progress.

Although Shiflet has skills at repairing things around the farm, he is physically broken. He is a one-armed man who, early in the plot, stretches out both arms toward the sun, looking like a “crooked cross”. When Shiflet speaks, it is of odd things, like a surgeon who took out a heart and examined it like “a day-old chicken”. She eventually states that the heart is beyond science and, when asked to sleep in the broken down car, references European monks who sleep in coffins. Although it's legal, the marriage to the woman's daughter doesn't satisfy him and states that it's the law that doesn't satisify him. Immediately afterwards, Shiftlet abandons his new wife and picks up a hitchhiker to make up for this guilt. The hitchhiker apparently sees how much of a liar Shiftlet is and jumps out of the car, leaving Shiftlet praying to God to wipe the scum off the earth.

The Life You Save May Be Your Own, is pretty much about two people using each other. Shiftlet wants the car and the old woman wants to get rid of her daughter while the girl, mute and unable to communicate, is left far from home.

Not a bad read. Because of my horrible sense of humor, I did somewhat enjoy the first story, mainly because the idiot grandmother finally got shot.

Ernest Hemingway, Why Do You Hurt Me So? (Part 2)

The book wasn't horrible. Cutting off my pinky would definitely have been worse. It was a struggle to read the book each day for class and not because I can't read, because I certainly can. No, the book was just bad.

The characters are completely crazy. I was finally able to see what happens when Brett can't immediately get what she wants, which is Romero, a young bullfighter. She actually needed an introduction to meet this new man. She's in awe at Romero's strength and jealous of Jake for being able to talk with such ease.

Jake is instigating the whole situation by pushing the two together. I believe, and sparknotes agrees, that Romero is a sexual replacement for Jake, who, because of the war, can't have a physical relationship. After Jake introduces Brett to this young man, the scenery changes and the whole setting is wet, muddy, and dirty.

Cohn, having had sex with Brett, follows her like a puppy dog but is instead shooed away and verbally harassed by Mike, Brett's fiance. Although Mike doesn't care if Brett runs around with men, Cohn is the only idiot to still follow her around.

When Cohn realizes that Jake has actually helped Romero and Brett get together, he accuses Jake of being a pimp. Jake then, probably from the stress of having given Brett away, swings at Cohn. He misses. Cohn knocks Jake out and then strikes Mike. Jake has officially become as silly as Cohn by giving in to his sentimentalism. Cohn vanishes after fighting, and failing to bring down Romero.

Romero continues with the scheduled bullfighting even though he is injured from the fight. He excels. Jake has ruined the insider reputation he had in Pompolona and destroyed his friendship with Montoya, a bullfighting aficionado and native. Jake leaves. In France, Jake overtips in order to buy friendships and places where he is welcome.

Afterwards, Jake meets with Brett who tells him, to make herself feel better, that she has sent Romero away. Brett is getting old and probably doesn't want to look foolish by following some youngster around. She then, like the crazy lady she is, tells Jake that if they could have sex, it would have been good between them but Jake knows this is all a game.

The book ends. The climax wasn't great (my summary was probably better) and all the good stuff happened at once that Hemingway could have condensed the rest of the book easily. I was not impressed and still wonder why Hemingway is so popular. Good thing I purchased the old, yellowed, and cheap version of the book for class.

A Little Side Project for my Little Side Project

Facebook Relationships

Awesome video about falling for a girl on Facebook. Watch it, because after I did, my whole life seemed so much better.