Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Truth about Pregnancy (Week 16)

Being pregnant sucks. There's nothing magical about it. I haven't felt the slightest twinge of motherly affection, nesting, or wish to hold babies. At times it's mostly indifference. At other times it's annoyance. Seriously, don't get pregnant.

It was nice to hear the heartbeat and to get the sonogram but afterwards I just feel like some 7th grade biology experiment (Not that students got pregnant for biology class in middle school, they got pregnant because they didn't use protection).

The first trimester was full of tears and questions about whether I should abort or keep it. Then it was tears for the loss of my dreams. Finally, I was simply crying because I was crying. There was the nausea. Bleeding. Vomiting. Fatigue. And the apartment search. I would google two bedroom apartments while eating anything I could get my hands on to relieve the nausea. I gained 10 pounds.

The second trimester is here and I have discovered that I was lied to. The doctors, books, blogs, and other women had said that nausea goes away during the second trimester. Bullshit. It's not as bad, but it's constant. So I'm still eating everything and in addition to small headaches, fatigue, and peeing every hour, I have round ligament pain.

But I could live with all this. The pain. The loss of a career. The nausea. I could live with it all, if I could still fit into my clothes.

I have gained a total of 15 pounds.

Eight pounds over the expected amount. My thighs are huge. Not only are shorts not fitting me because of my belly but they don't fit me BECAUSE I HAVE GOTTEN FAT.

And the belly? It looks like a beer belly. Like fat. Like, "Ew, she needs to do some crunches." I doubt I'll be one of those women with the cute and awesome belly.

Yup. Instead of cute and pregnant, I'll be fat and pregnant. Thank you genes. Thank you overeating. Thank you not being able to go for runs without discomfort.

Thank you lack of condoms four months ago.

1 comment:

  1. I am sure that you are a beautiful butterfly! And when the little chimichanga gets here you will forget all of this - until you can hold it against him later in life lol